When all else fails....BELIEVE in yourself.

It's a give & take world. Sometimes you give, sometimes you take, and sometimes you take song lyrics to express your current travels through life...

"I'm quickly finding out I'm not about to break down, not today. I guess I always knew that I had all the strength to make it through...so you see now, now I believe in me."

"You'll get your money. I'll get my friends. Hard living's forgiven in the end...Oh it can get better if you try. You got to give a little love, to get a little love." -Rilo Kylie.

"This is the world that we live in. I feel myself get tired...Bless your body, bless your soul. Pray for peace and self control. I gotta believe its worth it. Without a victory I'm so sanctified and free. Well, maybe I'm just mistaken. Lessons learned & the wheel just keeps turning." -The Killers.

"When you've lost and you've run out of road. Find what I already know. In the end close is all there is. Oh and in the end it's me you're gonna miss. Cause you won't find this. Oh, you wont find this."-Carrie Underwood.

"Somehow everything's gonna fall right into place. If we only had a way to make it all fall faster everyday...Holding onto patience wearing thin I can't force these eyes to see the end. If only time flew like a dove.. This time we're not giving up. Let's make it last forever. Screaming "hallelujah". We'll make it last forever. And we've got time on our hands (We've got time) Got nothing but time on our hands." -Paramore.

I've been making some changes in my life lately. Thrown out things I don't need, things that waste my time, things that make me unhealthy or unhappy & I'm determined to be better, to become more amazing, more educated, more kind & most importantly to believe more. Believing in me. :). So far the results have been impressive and I plan to keep it up.

Until next time,

Believe in yourself.

Sandee.

If I Ruled the World...

Somedays you feel inadequate. About life. About becoming something. About fulfilling your potential. Today, this song came on and for one reason or another made it all ok.

Watch it :). It might make your day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4EES5kLFFvg

If I ruled the world, Every day would be the first day of spring. Every heart would have a new song to sing, and we'd sing of the joy every morning would bring. If I ruled the world, Every man would be as free as a bird. Every voice would be a voice to be heard, take my word we would treasure each day that occurred. My world would be a beautiful place Where we would weave such wonderful dreams. My world would wear a smile on its face, like the man and the moon has, when the moon beams. If i ruled the world, Every man would see the world was his friend. Yeah There'd be happiness that no man could end, no my friend, not if i ruled the world. Every hand would be held up high, There'd be sunshine in everyones sky. If the day ever dawned, will i rule the world. Every hand would be held up high, Every star would shine in everyones sky. If the day ever dawned, will i rule the world.

Forgive Me Love.

Sometimes when you love people, they dont really LOVE you back & when you discover it, its felt. I mean, you really feel it. Thanks to musical mail from a bff, a good song was brought to light again, but this time later in life & I feel the meaning in the song so much more. What I really love about this song is that it expresses the love still felt for that person even though they are not around, not in your life anymore, or have have done something to prove their unworthiness to you. It's like its saying, "Forgive me for loving you, I still love you". I know I've felt that before in my life & sometimes the best thing to do is soak up the moment, cry all afternoon & then move on.

As always, its more powerful if you actually hear the song. (if you actually watch the video it will make you laugh. please ignore the fairy pics and just listen. haha)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQiiX8KTMOU

Alanis Morissette

"Your House"

I went to your house
Walked up the stairs
I opened your door without ringing the bell
I walked down the hall
Into your room
Where I could smell you
And I shouldn't be here, without permission
I shouldn't be here

Would you forgive me love
If I danced in your shower
Would you forgive me love
If I laid in your bed
Would you forgive me love
If I stay all afternoon

I took off my clothes
Put on your robe
I went through your drawers
And found your cologne
Went down to the den
Found your CD's
And I played your Joni
And I shouldn't stay long, you might be home soon
I shouldn't stay long

Would you forgive me love
If I danced in your shower
Would you forgive me love
If I laid in your bed
Would you forgive me love
If I stay all afternoon

I burned your incense
I ran a bath
I noticed a letter that sat on your desk
It said "Hello love, I love you so love, meet me at midnight"
And no, it wasn't my writing
I'd better go soon
It wasn't my writing

So forgive me love
If I cry in your shower
So forgive me love
For the salt in your bed
So forgive me love
If I cry all afternoon

Anyways, sometimes songs just really hit me. That one did today :). You might not get it, but i do. So much so that I just HAD to blog it. haha. I think what it really is, is that the people in my life right now may be distant for one reason or another, but i love them regardless. All anyone really wants is to be loved. I can only hope that I can be better at expressing/showing it to everyone. Especially when they deserve it the very least. Love is a funny thing. It makes the world go round. Spread the love people. haha. Enough mush and gush already...

So I LOVE my job. Crap, I thought I was done with the lovin'. haha. But really, it makes me happy. Ironically enough, coming from warm desert sun to freezing mountain snow I've adapted & have really enjoyed taking in the beauty of the mountains & the snow. It has strengthened my appreciation for a Creator who loves us & I am truly blessed to experience the beauties of earth every morning as I ride the lift as the sun rises. Sometimes its cloudy or there's fog, but even then its amazing to see it move & change. Sort of like my life. haha. Sometimes its a little unclear as to where I'm going but there's always something to be observed or learned from the change. Gotta love it. Here's a few pics to help visualize what I get to see:

Breaking the Madness

Hi! It's me :) & it's been far far tooooo long since I have updated this bugger. So, here's one in a nutshell:

-Moved to Utah in June-ish

-Miss AZ for various reasons

-Learning to love Utah and its ability to freeze things

-Still adjusting to living in a small town

-Started working at the Park City Mountain Resort which btw is my fave job yet.

-My younger brother just got married & it was an interesting experience for me, brutal yet beautiful.

-Still am sort of just flying by the seat of my pants here as far as what I want to be when I grow up, but I'm happy with there here & now. Honestly that's all that matters to me. Happiness.

Oh AND, I suppose that since it's a new year, I'm going to try and use this a bit more so whoever so pleases can update themselves on my life :).

I shall leave you with a song...

I want someone to love me
For who I am
I want someone to need me
Is that so bad?
I wanna break all the madness
But it's all I have
I want someone to love me
For who I am

Nothing makes sense, nothing makes sense anymore
Nothing is right, nothing is right when you're gone
I'm losing my breath, I'm losing my right to be wrong
I'm frightened to death, I'm frightened that I won't be strong

I want someone to love me
For who I am
I want someone to need me
Is that so bad?
I wanna break all the madness
But it's all I have
I want someone to love me
For who I am

Hey!

I'm shaking it off, I'm shaking off all of the pain.
Breaking my heart, breaking my heart once again

I want someone to love me
For who I am
I want someone to need me
Is that so bad?
I wanna break all the madness
But it's all I have
I want someone to love me
For who I am

I want someone to love me
For who I am
I want someone to need me
Is that so bad?
I wanna break all the madness
But it's all I have
I want someone to love me
For who I am

Yeah, who I am.

Resolution...It comes....I hope.

For anyone who is awesome enough to wonder about me soon going AWOL this may be of assistance:

I wanna dance the tango with chance

I wanna ride on the wire

Cause nothing gets done with dust in your gun

And nobody respects a liar

So Goodbye for a while I'm off to explore

Every boundary and every door

Yeah I'm going north

I wanna know where children would go 

If they never learned to be cool

Cause nothing's achieved when pushed up a sleeve

Till nobody thinks you're a fool

So goodbye for a while I'm out to learn more

About who I really was before

Yeah I'm going north

Up where the hunted hide with ease

Under the arms of eye-less trees

Up where the answers fall like leaves

Oh and your love is all I need

Yeah I'm going north.

~Missy Higgins, Going North.

Yup. so there you have it. Chew on that!

Oh and I took a jaunt in the rain and the random photos are a result. 

So I'm being cyber nerdy and I'm blogging about a moment I had today. Picture this... aprox. 7a.m. Me driving my moms car to work cuz i have none. half awake. not so much coherent. half gone water bottle and a yogurt in reach. radio on.....giggle here, a smirk there at the radio hosts comments then....this just in, we have a family who is on their way as we speak to "lay their relative in the ground" (in my mind. oh how sad. frowny face) and they have requested that we play them this song in honor of their lost loved one. (in my mind. oh boy.)  Keep in mind, I dig the the country morning show cuz its good clean fun, try it sometime. haha. But also, don't be alarmed that its Brad Paisley with Dolly Parton. i know woah, yikes! Here's the thing, I've said it before and I'll say it again, there is something about music that can really hit the heart, and that it did to me this morning. Thus i write about it in this stupid blog. haha. Anyways, here are the lyrics, I'd recommend listening to the song actually sung instead of just reading the lyrics because just typing it makes me laugh at how super lame it sounds, but if not, you get the jist of why I started off the day in tears ;). 

WHEN I GET WHERE I'M GOING

When I get where I'm going

On the far side of the sky

The first thing that I'm gonna do

Is spread my wings and fly

I'm gonna land beside a lion

And run my fingers through his mane

Or I might find out what it's like

To ride a drop of rain

Yeah when I get where I'm going

They'll be only happy tears

I will shed the sins and struggles

I have carried all these years

And I'll leave my heart wide open

I will love and have no fear

Yeah when I get where I'm going

Don't cry for me down here

I'm gonna walk with my grand daddy

And he'll match me step for step

And I'll tell him how i missed him

Every minute since he left

Then I'll hug his neck

So much pain and so much darkness

In this world we stumble through

All these questions I can't answer

So much work to do

But when I get where I'm going

And I see my makers face

I'll stand forever in the light

Of his amazing grace

Yeah when I get where I'm going

They'll be only  happy tears

Hallelujah 

I will love and have no fear

When  I get where I'm going

Yeah when I get where I'm going.

I guess country songs get to me. haha. But really I loved that moment today, it really made me appreciate the hard times in life and think about how everyone is trying to get somewhere in life, we are all just at separate places and in different times but if we just learn to love and have no fear we'll make it through ;)

Ok its official. I'm a dorkwad. haha. Awesome.  

The end. 

oh and i finished this one first. :)