Resolution...It comes....I hope.

For anyone who is awesome enough to wonder about me soon going AWOL this may be of assistance:

I wanna dance the tango with chance

I wanna ride on the wire

Cause nothing gets done with dust in your gun

And nobody respects a liar

So Goodbye for a while I'm off to explore

Every boundary and every door

Yeah I'm going north

I wanna know where children would go 

If they never learned to be cool

Cause nothing's achieved when pushed up a sleeve

Till nobody thinks you're a fool

So goodbye for a while I'm out to learn more

About who I really was before

Yeah I'm going north

Up where the hunted hide with ease

Under the arms of eye-less trees

Up where the answers fall like leaves

Oh and your love is all I need

Yeah I'm going north.

~Missy Higgins, Going North.

Yup. so there you have it. Chew on that!

Oh and I took a jaunt in the rain and the random photos are a result. 

So I'm being cyber nerdy and I'm blogging about a moment I had today. Picture this... aprox. 7a.m. Me driving my moms car to work cuz i have none. half awake. not so much coherent. half gone water bottle and a yogurt in reach. radio on.....giggle here, a smirk there at the radio hosts comments then....this just in, we have a family who is on their way as we speak to "lay their relative in the ground" (in my mind. oh how sad. frowny face) and they have requested that we play them this song in honor of their lost loved one. (in my mind. oh boy.)  Keep in mind, I dig the the country morning show cuz its good clean fun, try it sometime. haha. But also, don't be alarmed that its Brad Paisley with Dolly Parton. i know woah, yikes! Here's the thing, I've said it before and I'll say it again, there is something about music that can really hit the heart, and that it did to me this morning. Thus i write about it in this stupid blog. haha. Anyways, here are the lyrics, I'd recommend listening to the song actually sung instead of just reading the lyrics because just typing it makes me laugh at how super lame it sounds, but if not, you get the jist of why I started off the day in tears ;). 

WHEN I GET WHERE I'M GOING

When I get where I'm going

On the far side of the sky

The first thing that I'm gonna do

Is spread my wings and fly

I'm gonna land beside a lion

And run my fingers through his mane

Or I might find out what it's like

To ride a drop of rain

Yeah when I get where I'm going

They'll be only happy tears

I will shed the sins and struggles

I have carried all these years

And I'll leave my heart wide open

I will love and have no fear

Yeah when I get where I'm going

Don't cry for me down here

I'm gonna walk with my grand daddy

And he'll match me step for step

And I'll tell him how i missed him

Every minute since he left

Then I'll hug his neck

So much pain and so much darkness

In this world we stumble through

All these questions I can't answer

So much work to do

But when I get where I'm going

And I see my makers face

I'll stand forever in the light

Of his amazing grace

Yeah when I get where I'm going

They'll be only  happy tears

Hallelujah 

I will love and have no fear

When  I get where I'm going

Yeah when I get where I'm going.

I guess country songs get to me. haha. But really I loved that moment today, it really made me appreciate the hard times in life and think about how everyone is trying to get somewhere in life, we are all just at separate places and in different times but if we just learn to love and have no fear we'll make it through ;)

Ok its official. I'm a dorkwad. haha. Awesome.  

The end. 

oh and i finished this one first. :)

When all else fails....DRAW.

Most importantly and first off I must say that I completely love general conference. It seems like each time it comes around I'm just about at my breaking point and desperately in need of some good wholesome upliftment. apparently thats not a word. but i say it is. so there. Oddly enough with all the inspiration given and words of advice absorbed today, somehow i still managed to have a freaking break down by the end of the day. My life is a little bit chaotic at the moment...with our house being sold and only having about three weeks to make a series of major decisions that for some reason or another I can't for the life of me come to any sort of conclusion on what to do or what not to do. quite frankly its killing me. I think what set it off today, yes just today, it happens a lot lately.haha...but today it was helping my brother move out to an apartment with some of his friends. This whole process has been a long time coming really and the fact that things are actually starting to happen and big changes are underway its just been a little more than i can handle. Like my dog biting off more than he can chew and therefore having a mega hack attack. which is never pretty and always quite concerning. Although in my case im not hacking up anything besides tears and mixed emotions, which really makes me sound like a complete basket case but really at this point I sure do feel like one. Point here is, I'm scared like a kid who lost his mom at the grocery store. not like on LOST where kate loses aaron. haah but, just lost and kind of afraid for my life and what will happen if i'm brave or if i chicken out, or if i never find my mom again, i could live in the grocery store on the candy isle and live in a dream world but is that really what a kid should do? apparently i think too much, and sometimes thats a bad thing. Todays scenario proves that theory. I cried and wanted to barf my guts out from worrying too much. Some times you just need to "get away from it all" and you can't actually get away from anything, so when that happens i being the coleccionista de canciones, usually zone out to some tunes or read something like las escrituras haha. or one of my all time favorite relaxer zoner outer activities DRAWING. I'm not the best at it, but its a new talent i'm working on developing. So tonight i blasted some tunes to drown out the thoughts running laps in my head and just "got out of town".  And I love the results.  Calm and Clear for now ;). haha. Tomorrow's another day. The above is today's breakdown production. My midnight mayhem.

This just in...

i love this song. appreciate the words. dedicate them to you :)

Faith Hill, Wish For You:

THE SETTING SUN THAT PAINTS A TY-DYED SKY

A FEATHER BED, AN ANCIENT LULLABY

A KISS GOODNIGHT FROM ONE WHOSE LOVE IS TRUE

THAT'S THE KIND OF DAY I WISH FOR YOU

A FIELD OF FLOWERS DANCING IN THE SPRING

A LITTLE CREEK, A TREE, AN OLD ROPE SWING

COTTON CANDY CLOUDS AGAINST THE BLUE

THAT'S THE KIND OF DAY I WISH FOR YOU

FIRST LOVE WITH ALL ITS STORM

RAGING LIKE FIRE WITHIN

TOSSING YOUR HEART TO CHANCE

YOU SWEAR THE DANCE WILL NEVER END

BUT THEN IT DOES AND SOMEONE SAYS GOODBYE

AND AFTER ALL THOSE EMPTY NIGHTS YOU CRIED

THE MORNING THAT YOU WAKE UP GOOD AS NEW

THAT'S THE KIND OF DAY I WISH FOR YOU

THE FAITH OF KNOWING DEEP INSIDE YOUR HEART

THAT HEAVEN HOLDS MORE THAN JUST SOME STARS

SOMEONE'S UP THERE WATCHING OVER YOU

THAT'S THE KIND OF DAY I WISH FOR YOU

This is me giving in.

So I decided to become a blogger. But more so just for me. I'm a firm believer in using writing as a form of stress relief or possibly even anger management. Not that i need help with that but because really you can write anything you feel and somehow it feels good to get it out. I have always been a fan of writing instead of talking. It's just what i do, no talking, just thinking, and writing. No one even has to read it. Writing things from your mind or happenings from your life could possibly be a bad thing, well,  at least it is if you are an angry elf, but I'm not, so I think its all good. That being said...If you are reading this right now you either A) are a sneaky stalker. OR... B) have been granted worthy of reading. In both cases consider yourself lucky ;)

Here we go...

If only i knew where to begin. haha. 

I got it..... Coleccionista de Canciones. All or some of these questions might be happening in your brain. Who? What? Where? When? Why? Well, if you are blessed with the ability to understand the lovely spanish language then you would know, if not, sucks to be you. haha. Actually it means "collector of songs". In my mind that is probably the best way to live life. I get a lot of inspiration from music. Music has an ability like no other to speak to your heart. I have always been amazed by its power. Especially the ability it has to bring back memories. From the moment i heard the song a few years back "Coleccionista de Canciones"  by Camila I thought that the phrase was something I could and still can totally relate to. Not only is it an awesome song it's also a love song, and even though I'm not immensely involved in the whole lovey-dovey thing I do know that love is probably the most important thing that life has to offer because it makes everything ok AND when it comes in the form of music somehow its planted even deeper.  Basically, there is a song for every moment of life. No ones collection of songs are the same, nor do the songs have the same impact, meaning or effect on one person as it does to another. But all together it makes a beautiful and unique collective creation called life. 

Speaking of life...

I recently was reading a book that said something like, "once you figure out and accept that life is hard, it's not so hard anymore". How true that is! If it's not one thing its another, i swear. But really its good that life is a roller-coaster of emotions and experiences because how else would you learn to appreciate anything?! I also know that when life is throwing you curve balls its a good sign, because it wasn't meant to be easy. Keep your eye on the ball and you'll be fine. 

More than anything, I have to say that with out the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life nothing would make sense. I wouldn't have a purpose or any sense of direction. Life would not be worth living. I am so greatful for the blessing that it is in my life and the real happiness that it brings when i follow it. 

Anyways, haha.I think that is quite enough blabber for one blog. Love life and music. Especially when you put the two together. I highly recommend it :) 

Sandee out.